These notes are observations about caring for a child, one in particular. 
I may have just unlocked a secret in the universe: when I’m facing a low-value decision paralysis… ask my kid to choose for me! This is gonna open doors for me, I’m sure.
That feeling when you are trying to feed your kid beer thru window of the library, and you both laugh and it spills on the window sill and you both look guilty and immediately agree to keep this on the downlow, with your eyes.
That feeling when you do kind of the opposite! 
I think it’s starting to solidify for me that Clover is this while other person, from different worlds than the ones I grew in.
Which is a relief!
They are just the weirdest, coolest, fun person to be around. I imagine it’s something between 
and 
for non-parents.
Clover’s life is so drastically different from mine it is mind reeling.
Which is one approach. But I choose another: I won.
They don’t know scarcity, and sometimes that offends me, but what did I want? For them to know scarcity?
They don’t understand time management, which is used against people with little else than effort against time, and I’m so sensitive to this I’m offended and the leisure of their pacing… what did I want, for them to live by the edge of their wit and lost of innocence?
It’s all very…
fuck
Anyhow, when I look at it this way, I would much rather just be a curious supporter and observer. What a life they will live, and even propelled forward by the nearby motion of my own… I want to be drawn in rather that offended by their reality.
I need to broaden my own understanding of being a parent, because I hold myself back with this idea that the best I can do is not cost too much in therapy… and that is such a messed up view. I don’t want it. I can imagine there is better… but just barely.
Time to get creative. 
I suspect the reason Clover gets to me so much is because they are already on the inside of my defenses. 
I’ve never stabbed anyone aside from myself (by accident).
Clover presumed I’d stabbed folks, I suppose because of the nature of my life. I had to clarify.
Watching Parks and Recreation with Clover is one of my favorite home schooling activities.
I just explained why anyone would demand to see the birth certificate of someone running for office!
I remember when Clover was 2 years old, I met a 19 year old who told me, “I’ve heard of the Berlin Wall, but don’t really know about it…”
Haha… ha.
I’ve finally moved to the understanding that when my kid says, “I know!”, it is a personal achievement as a home learning family.
The little bastard.
I did not expect to be a parent whose child decided to supercede…
How does one prepare such a child?
I have not contracted this many illnesses since the kid joined middle school… than since I was in middle school! 